“Painful as it may be, a significant emotional event can be the catalyst for choosing a direction that serves us - and those around us - more effectively. Look for the learning.”—Louisa May Alcott (via revolutionnow)
“Combating bullying is not going to be easy, but it’s definitely not going to happen if we don’t dive deep in the mess that underpins it and surrounds it. Lectures by uncool old people like me aren’t going to make teens who are engaged in dramas think twice about what they’re doing. And, for that matter, using the term “bullying” is also not going to help at all either. We need interventions that focus on building empathy, identifying escalation, and techniques for stopping the cycles of abuse. We need to create environments where young people don’t get validated for negative attention and where they don’t see relationship drama as part of normal adult life. The issues here are systemic. And it’s great that the Internet is forcing us to think about them, but the Internet is not the problem here. It’s just one tool in an ongoing battle for attention, validation, and status. And unless we find effective ways of getting to the root of the problem, the Internet will just continue to be used to reinforce what is pervasive.”—danah boyd (via azspot)
I just had a guy email me telling me he’s writing about how women shouldn’t change their names upon marriage because he wants them to be “absolutely clear about what they are doing and why.” He also commented on my site telling a woman commenter who said she’d change her name because her name wasn’t a big part of her identity that she was mistaken - her name is her identity, and she has no idea what she’s talking about. And then he asked me to promote his blog.
I emailed him back saying he has no right to tell anyone how they identify or what they choose to identify with and that if he commented with something similar to that again, I’d block him. And that I would absolutely not promote his blog.
What gives him the right to come in and tell women who have commented thoughtfully on my site what their identities are and what they should do with their names? Am I more angry about this because he happens to be a man? If a woman were writing this, would I be less upset? (I’d argue no because this post makes me just as angry.)
Figure out early in life that equality is RAD! Equality, BRAH!
Deign to enter into a conversation about the inequality women face.
Like, almost fucking break something patting yourself on the back for it.
Encounter a woman saying something that rankles you.
Refuse to consider that it rankles you because you were raised to believe that everything you said, no matter how stupid, ill-thought out, or unfounded, must be considered with greater weight than the thoughts of a woman.
Start to clue into the fact that being a Cis Man doesn’t allow you to explain things to people about their own lives.
Think about this.
Get a little angry.
Think about it some more.
Get a little more angry.
HAVE A FAKE REVELATION: You are being silenced because of your gender.
ZOMG THATS WHAT THE FEMINISTS ARE AGAINST.
Realize that you are through the looking glass here people.
Read extensively about the concept of Male Privilege.
Read the Spark Notes on the concept of Male Privilege.
Buy the laminated reference card to Male Privilege
Use it as a coaster.
Barge into a Feminist Space.
Proclaim loudly that you are having doubts about this whole Feminism thing.
Begin to Mansplain Feminism.
Begin to Mansplain the proper method of discourse and discussion. Start every paragraph with “What you don’t seem to realize…”
Become apoplectic that NO ONE IS THANKFUL THAT YOU ARE EDUCATING THEM.
I just realized that this Tumblr is becoming nothing more than a feed for Small Strokes, and the feeding will continue, but I’ll now also be doing a photo-a-day project for at least a month on here. I’ll probably usually do it from my phone and it may not be super exciting, but let’s just see where this goes, shall we? Starting today. :)