“well to be fair, there are plenty of 16 year olds with brains, it’s just that no one listens to them. even though i don’t know that many teenage feminists (except from tumblr). what i’m trying to say is that there are teenagers that care, it’s just that most don’t look deep enough into the issues they care about because they are always being told by adults that nothing they say matters until they are 18. i’ve been put down by many adults because i don’t agree with their views. most people do that without even realizing it. the teenagers that were always being put down by adults are going to grow up not caring …”—
i totally agree with this—there’s also the aspect of “motherhood” and “childless by choice” going on—where feminists have been told for 30 years that anybody who can’t take care of themselves is a burden, rather than a being to act in solidarity with. the way my daughter has been treated by *F*eminists is appalling—and the things being said about “kids” who are ALSO GIRLS by *F*eminists make me sick. It is a big reason why i don’t identify with *F*eminism anymore—If you’re gonna leave behind my daughter, im not going with you.
So, future grooms asking the father for the daughters “hand” in marriage.
Do we still need this? Is it just culture? Do you think it will ever end?
It’s very prevalent in certain circles where I live. (Disclaimer: I went to a very very tiny Catholic college in the BP runoff zone; I am not Catholic but many people I adore are very big liberation theology Catholics.)
A Kevin and I are getting married, but he didn’t ask my father’s permission. I posted to my Facebook allowing as much, and about how I was planning to not have anyone walk me down the aisle if I did have a ceremony. The wank almost instantaneously rolled in, about how dare I deprive my father of the right to intimidate A Kevin before saying yes, and his right to “give away” his “little girl”, as though my dad had been waiting his whole life to be asked whether I was for sale.
And right around that time I started saying, “F this. I AM a feminist.”
HELL TO THE NO. I hate hate hate that, and the walking down the aisle thing. I go back and forth on other symbols and traditions - i’m getting hitched and getting a (non-diamond) ring to signify my engagement, but i’m not wearing white and i’m certainly not changing my name, hell no - and i’m not really going to judge whatever other people want to do with regard to this particular tradition. but personally, i am strenuously opposed to any kind of daddy-partner-ownership type things. i have a good relationship with my dad, but no.
i asked my dude whether he was planning on doing this - engagement is imminent and he surprisingly wants to propose - and he was offended i asked. “why would you think i would do that” is what he said. good answer! (he usually has good answers about wedding stuff.)
It really is all about what it means to you. I’m getting married in October, and while my fiance didn’t ask permission from my parents, he did ask for their blessing, which I think was very sweet. And also very different than asking for permission. And both of my parents are walking me down the aisle, which doesn’t symbolize a “sale” to me at all. It symbolizes a merging of our two families - and it symbolizes my past and my future - and a shared love between us all. So, again, it’s all about what it means to you.
And, for the record, I’m not changing my name, but I am wearing white. But absolutely no garter or bouquet toss. That’s why wedding ceremonies can be so great - you do what you like and you don’t do what you don’t like. And not having a ceremony can be great, too, if that’s what you want. Whatever works for you and whatever makes you happy!
“…we learn that she finds her “skinny body” “repulsive,” her small breasts “pathetic,” and that, overall, she does “not have much to offer.” Okay, so Lisbeth has body issues. We all do. Yet instead of allowing her to accept her imperfections, Larsson betrays her by having her succumb to an arbitrary standard of female beauty…”—
My youngest son is seven years old and works a skateboard better than most teens. He also enjoys hunting and guns, playing baseball… and reading.
He went this entire season of baseball without striking out and has just finished an autobiography by a World War II vet. We don’t know which is more pronounced: his athletic side or his brainy side, but we enjoy them both.
His eleven year old brother, on the other hand, is easier to peg. He is not a sports fan and wears the title of: Nerd, with pride. Not long ago, I heard the following conversation:
Big brother: (pushing his glasses further atop his nose as he pauses in front of the football game on TV)
Running after a ball… I don’t get it and hopefully never will.
Lil brother: (eyes never leaving the game on TV)
I’d love to be a professional sports guy.
Big brother: (shaking head left to right and placing a condescending hand on his brother’s shoulder)
Just what the world needs, another unproductive citizen.
As a former college ball player, It took all their father had not to comment.
We’re your basic Southern family except we are not religious and we live down the street from a lesbian relative.
Cousin Jennifer is a red-headed photographer that loves dogs and all things girly. She also loves her long-time girlfriend, Judy. Judy is a gorgeous brunette who serves in the United States Army.
They are also a fabulous babysitting duo and my children request them anytime their father and I are going for an evening on the town. We have the same rules for them that we would have for a straight babysitting couple:
Just keep the kids safe and no lovey dovey adult stuff in front of them.
It works out very well. They play non-stop games and teach them interesting things. They are obviously crazy about each other and it gives off a very positive energy that my children soak in and release to those around them.
So, even at 7, he understands “Gay.” But until recently, we’ve never had to explain the issue of legality.
Yesterday, I walked into the living room to see him surrounded by all the paper guns he had been making. I saw the finished Civil War book at his feet. He was sitting Indian style in front of his brother who was gobbling down pancakes.
He glanced over at his older brother and then back at me. Something was on his mind. Suddenly, he blurted out:
Mommy, when will Judy break up with Jennifer?
I don’t think they plan on breaking up, I replied.
When they do, will she stop being my cousin?
Judy loves you very much, Honey.
I scooped him up to snuggle with him in my lap. I just had to nuzzle that sweet neck while he was still small.
They won’t break up, I assured. Why the sudden worry?
His brother chimed in:
Well, I explained to him that gay marriages aren’t allowed, here.
I see, I sighed.
I just rocked this little ball of confusion and stared off into space until I felt his warm tear reach my arm. When I realized he was crying, my chest tightened and threatened to burst open.
When his brother heard his little whimper he walked over and did his usually placing of “hand on shoulder”, but instead of the expected snark he gently asked:
Why are you crying?
His brother (lifting one little eye from under my arm) whispered:
Not real happy with the condescending tech support from Tumblr right now. Yea, I know I have to activate a function before I use it. I deactivated it because that function didn’t work. Thanks for taking up space in my inbox with that unhelpful suggestion.
Anyone have this app? I was excited about the supposed “send to twitter” toggle button in the advanced settings only… I don’t have that button. In fact, my screen doesn’t even look like the screenshots in the app store.
I’m all for men being feminists. I support that 100 percent. Everyone should be feminist! Because we should all be equal, in every way! And it’s not that I don’t want to say “thanks” to men feminists, because I often do, just as I want to thank many feminists of all genders. We can’t do this…
“Look, life unfolds, and to deny the curves in the road seems to be so masochistic. And to deny anybody else those curves in the road seems so cruel. Real love is about knowing and accepting somebody absolutely and being right there for them, whatever curves are ahead. Whether they’re your children, or the father of your children, or your parents, or your brothers, or whoever they are - if they are really there to support you whatever you do, then you don’t need to be frightened of any curve in the road, and you don’t need to believe that any relationship is brittle enough to break.”—Tilda Swinton, in the newest edition of Bust. (via feministjillian)
There is a park about a mile or a little less away from my house. There are lighted baseball fields where kids play little league during the day, and adults play at night. When my window is open, I can hear the sound of the aluminum bats when someone makes a hit, and after the hit, I can always hear a crowd cheering. The weird thing? It totally sounds like someone has baseball on tv in another room. It’s cool but also a little unnerving.
Does anyone know good icebreaker games to be played outdoors, by a group of perhaps a hundred people? They can be split into smaller groups if need be, so the size limit is the least important part. It’s for work. And I need to think of some stuff soon.
Would a Round Robin work? Where everyone contributes a sentence/word to an ongoing story?
The one and only icebreaker I’ll do with my students or a group I’m leading is the human scavengar hunt. Make up a worksheet with quirky things… Like “is a White Sox fan” or “is wearing socks that aren’t white” or “likes broccoli” (I have a worksheet made already that would work for about 20 people if you want it.) Then, the people in the group walk around trying to find people who fit these characteristics. Once they find a person, that person signs their name next to the characteristic they posess (i.e. I am a White Sox fan, so I would sign “Ashley” next to “Is a White Sox fan”). The catch: they cannot sign their own paper, and everyone else can only sign their paper one time. Then they have to go find someone else!
“For a long time, of course, English words were spelled irregularly because spelling simply wasn’t regularized. But for the past 150 years or so spelling words “correctly” has been an important class signifier, even as we lack an underlying set of rules to determine how letter-strings form phonemes. Thus it’s possible for “correct” spelling to differ from country to country, and it’s harder than it needs to be for children to learn how to spell. And it’s worth noting that the adverse impact falls especially hard on children from a low socioeconomic background.”
ladysquires at Shitty First Drafts. Have I mentioned I love that blog? I LOVE THAT BLOG.
I’ve pointed out before just how our “what about the children” concerns about non-standard and emergent forms of English–like textspeak–reflect a not-so-subtle form of xenophobia (not to mention classism and ableism), but the Arizona law stands as a pretty blatant example of it. While I do believe that educators who are teaching English should be proficient in the language to the extent that they can be understood and communicate English-language concepts effectively, it simply is not correct to conflate accent with non-standard grammar or lack of intelligibility. If Arizona wished to apply their laws fairly–as Lieberman demonstrates–then they would have to reprimand or reassign white native English speakers who misuse words or speak “ungrammatically” as well, but that’s probably not going to happen. And as I have pointed out, enforcing draconian standards with regard to grammar are often a way of arbitrarily leveraging privilege as well.
This weekend, my mom and I will be walking 39.3 miles over two days (Saturday and Sunday) around Chicago to raise awareness and funds for breast cancer treatment and research. This year, you’ll be able to follow me every step of the way with this really cool map that I’ll be updating from my phone. You’ll be able to see pictures from the route, and read how we’re feeling and what’s going on without even leaving your computer!
Virtually cheer me on! Every message keeps us going further!
If you’re in the Chicago area, you can also cheer me on in real life by visiting any of these cheering stations! It would be GREAT to see you all there!
How do you all handle the sheer volume of stuff that shows up on Tumblr? Twitter is easier because it’s shorter and you can make lists and stuff (I honestly never see all the people I follow on Twitter because I have a “bff” list and that’s the one I read… but that’s neither here nor there…) but Tumblr is harder. It doesn’t show you how many posts you have not read (like an RSS reader) and it doesn’t link conversations (like Twitter)… I’m just thinking it seems really hard to follow if you’re not, like, always in front of your computer.
I do not live in Arizona. In fact, I’ve never even been to Arizona. When I was in undergrad, though, it seemed like Arizona would be an oasis for teachers. There were superintendents and principals at job fairs that were offering contracts to teachers right then and there, without the strenuous interview process that teachers applying in the Chicago suburbs faced. How easy it seemed to be to get a job teaching in the Phoenix area, and how wonderful the weather would be without the stifling humidity in the summer and the snow in the winter. Now, however, I wonder if Arizona is the same sort of haven it used to be for budding graduates from teacher education programs. So much is going on in that state that it’s hard to believe anyone would move there now, in this climate.
I am the eternal optimist, or, at least, I really do try to see the best in situations. I have been told that Arizona legislators had reasons for passing SB1070. I have been told that the state of Arizona is in such a bad economic situation that they had to do something. I have been told all of these things, and more, but I can’t see any positive side to a law that creates such a culture of hatred and racism that people are comparing Arizona police to the Nazis. And now, this law and the culture surrounding it has opened up avenues to effect the education of students in the state and, by extension, the country and the world.
I would really like to not be dependent on caffeine. I’ve already cut down to half of the caffeine I usually drank (which was actually cutting down to about a third of the caffeine I usually drank, because along with switching to half-caff coffee, I also stopped drinking caffeinated beverages later in the day), but I seem to have become dependent on even that much caffeine.
I don’t really feel the need to drink coffee, but I sort of feel like drinking coffee defines me, if that makes sense. I don’t know, but I do wish I could just not feel the need for it any more. It costs a lot of money and adds time on to my already busy mornings!
OR! How about YOU turn in YOUR feminist card (should you even claim to have one) because you think the simple act of enjoying one piece of entertainment would ever be enough to make someone not a feminist? (In what world do you decide that, anyway?) Do you want to list…