And if you are in the process of planning a wedding, or recently got married, you’ve probably seen quite a few yourself. It could just be a trend, or it could just be the photos I see here on Tumblr and on the popular wedding websites (or it could be both), but I’m kind of getting tired of the…
YES. And have you noticed that most of those pictures are of skinny, white brides and their skinny, white husbands? It’s almost like they’re all looking for indie street cred.
I wanted bright colors in my photos, so we picked a photographer who had that style. We did have a lot of pics that were staged - smiling by the cake, etc. - but my favorites were the accidents - all of those martini pics for example. The most important thing is to find a photographer that has the style you want and talk to him/her about what pictures you’re looking for.
So you can’t reblog something that was posted on a group blog of yours to your personal blog? That’s sad! I wrote a (in my opinion) funny post about not changing your name when you get married for Deconstructing the Fairytale and wanted to reblog it for fun here. Alas, I cannot. So here goes some fancy copy-paste. Enjoy!
In the suburbs of Chicago, in the heart of the Midwest, and especially as a teacher (one of those professions that attracts “traditional” people), I’ve gotten a lot of crap about not changing my name. It’s toned down quite a bit in the past month or so, but right after the wedding, people said a lot of things to me that you might not expect, and some of them were just downright rude. So I took to being snarky right back, and, although I may have burned some bridges, I think it helped draw attention to the fact that what they were saying to me was inappropriate. And it sure made them back off! So here are some things that were actually said to me and my responses.
To the people who scoffed at me and asked “Why??” in that judgy tone, I’d respond:
*Well, we’re not sure if it’ll work out so we figured we’d just make it easier this way in case it doesn’t.
*Because I’m lazy and didn’t want to go through the whole governmental process.
*Because Tim fell in love with Ashley MyLastName, so it’d be a shame for her to disappear after the wedding, wouldn’t it?
To the people, in their ultimate concern, who asked “But what will you name the children?!” I’d respond:
*What children? Do you know something I don’t? OMG am I pregnant?!
*Whatever we want.
*Well, we’re thinking Princess Bananahammock for a girl, Prince Bananahammock for a boy.
*I’m not having children. (Which always elicits another gasp of dismay and a whole lot of other conversation I never want to have, so I stopped using that one.)
*Well, either Samuel or Samantha Rob___ for one of the kids and Robert or Roberta Sam___ for the other. (His last name starts with Rob and mine with Sam. If Roberta weren’t the only option for the girl in this situation, I might actually do it.)
To the people who asked “Well, is Tim ok with that?” I’d respond:
*Oh shoot… I knew I was forgetting to ask him something…
*I didn’t know I needed his permission.
*Why wouldn’t he be? (That stumped a few people.)
To the man who scoffed at me and asked, “What kind of man allows his wife to do that?” (No joke. This happened.), I responded:
To which he frowned at me for a good 5 minutes. The other conversation had moved on and he was still staring and frowning. And I said:
*I’m sorry. Does this upset your delicate sensibilities about the way you think I should live my life?
To which he responded: “Well, it’s your life I guess.”
Have any of you encountered situations like this? What did you say or do? I’d love to hear some more responses to these situations!
“It was an examination of how The Beatles came to be. What the political and social climate was and the cultural aspects that helped to facilitate an environment where The Beatles’ could happen. It was a lot of history. It was very much having to understand all of the history of British music, British politics and the economic state of the country at the time and what people where doing to stay positive and how music impacted on everyday life.”—
If you don’t know, my name is Ashley. I’m a feminist, recently married, high school English teacher and blogger. Among other things. This Tumblr is a place to collect bits of thoughts too large for Twitter (@samsanator - follow me!) and too short for my other blogs Small Strokes - a feminist blog that started as a grad school project and evolved to discuss feminism and relationships - and Equality 101 - a group blog for teachers focused on diversity in education, and Deconstructing the Fairytale: Feminist Perspectives on Weddings and Marriage. If you like this Tumblr and want to read more, conside checking out those two blogs!
There has been some debate over whether the Internet has changed the way we read. It’s certainly changed the way we can read. Every day we can have fresh poems to read – we never have to read the same poem twice – we can read them and move on, read them and move on. But is that the way poems…
Hey feminists! There’s a new feminist blog on the market. Rosie, Jillian, Safa and I will be blogging all about having feminist weddings and being feminist wives! So come, follow along, ask advice, and help us on our quest for feminist partnership in a patriarchal society!
“The cameras missed the outside murders and could not follow Eric and Dylan inside. The fundamental experience for most of America was almost witnessing mass murder. It was the panic and frustration of not knowing, the mounting terror of horror withheld, just out of view. We would learn the truth about Columbine, but we would not learn it today.”—Columbine by Dave Cullen
A principal at a Long Island high school has blocked a group of LGBT and straight students from forming a gay-straight alliance at Valley Stream South High School. The principal, Maureen Henry, denied the request after three students — with the support of several hundred of their classmates — submitted a proposal to form an official school club. The students had been working on the proposal since October, and tell the Long Island Herald that they followed all proper protocols and procedures.
Still, Principal Henry denied their request. And here’s an added insult to injury: when the students told Principal Henry about rampant anti-gay slurs, including use of the word “faggot” in the school, the Principal said it wasn’t that big of a deal.
“Principal Henry told the students that she too called people ‘faggots’ when she was young and didn’t mean anything bad by it,” says a press release from LIGALY, the Long Island Gay and Lesbian Youth organization.
Right, because “Faggot” is such a positive, uplifting term of endearment.
The students involved in trying to organize the club have taken their case to the Superintendent of the School District, Dr. Richard Marsh, in hopes that administrators can step in and assist both LGBT and straight students looking to create some safe spaces within Valley Stream South High School.
“We did everything right,” said Kelly Egan, one of the students trying to start the club. “I don’t see why you wouldn’t want to promote tolerance and safety.” Egan went on to note that another high school in the district — North High School — has a gay-straight alliance.
LIGALY is not taking this quietly. They’ve planned a demonstration in front of the school this afternoon, with their leadership saying that Principal Henry is essentially bullying her students by shutting down any possibility of a gay-straight alliance.
“The core issue, in my opinion, is the barriers the principal is putting up in front of them,” said Robert Vitelli, a 1992 graduate of Valley Stream South High School and director of development at LIGALY.
Unnecessary barriers, if you ask us. How about sending Principal Henry, as well as Superintendent Marsh, a message that blocking your students from forming gay-straight alliances is irresponsible behavior from educators that are supposed to look out for the welfare of all of their students. Moreover, for Principal Henry to suggest that calling people “faggots” is no big deal shows exactly why a gay-straight alliance is needed in a place like Valley Stream South High School.
“Women will know that white feminist activists have begun to confront racism in a serious and revolutionary manner when they are not simply acknowledging racism in feminist movement or calling attention to personal prejudice, but are actively struggling to resist racist oppression in our society. Women will know they have made a political commitment to eliminating racism when they help change the direction of feminist movement, when they work to unlearn racist socialization prior to assuming positions of leadership or shaping theory or making contact with women of color so that they will not perpetuate and maintain racial oppression or, unconsciously or consciously, abuse and hurt non-white women. These are the truly radical gestures that create a foundation for the experience of political solidarity between white women and women of color.”—bell hooks, Feminist Theory: From Margin to Center (via feminismistheshit)
This policy finally gives LGBT families the same rights as straight families in making decisions and taking care of their loved ones who are ill. This includes visitation rights and patient final rights.
It does not solve every problem but this is a big step in the right direction!
“I was not ladylike, nor was I manly. I was something else altogether. There were so many different ways to be beautiful.”— Michael Cunningham, A Home at the End of the World (via xxboy) (via genderqueer) (via aqrima, ) (via kairia, )
I can remember speaking to a 12-year-old boy, a football player, and I asked him, I said, “How would you feel if, in front of all the players, your coach told you, you were playing like a girl?” Now, I expected him to say something like, “I’d be sad; I’d be mad; I’d be angry,” something like that. No, the boy said to me, the boy said to me, “It would destroy me.”
And I said to myself, “God, if it would destroy him to be called a girl, what are we then teaching him about girls?”